Locket

Tim said, “what did you do with the locket, Phil?”

Phil, about half the size of the burly but lean man asking the question, fumbled noticeably for a few seconds, seemingly caught off guard and not knowing what to say.

“What, Phil? What did you do with it?”, Tim asked again.

Phil was still at a loss for words. Tim began to become impatient and was about to ask a third time, with decidely more force. But just as he opened his mouth to speak, he noticed Phil was finally getting enough wits about him to start to pantomime something. In Phil’s fluster, his gestures, with their unbottoned, flopping flannel shirt cuffs, were a frenzied and wild mess of meaningless motions. But Tim had always had a quick wit, even if people hadn’t noticed quite as much as they should over the years — a keen sort of gumption that somehow didn’t seem to match his thick, rough, red beard.

Gently reaching over, putting a heavy, cupped hand on top of Phil’s right shoulder, Tim observed, “Phil, has something happened so that you can’t speak?”

Phil immediately nodded his head with vigor, cautiously excited that Tim had at least figured out that much already. Tim knowingly gestured and nodded with a softened expression, helping Phil to calm a bit more.

“Go on, then. Try to tell me what happened.”

Here’s Your Suitcase

“Here’s your suitcase, what’s your hurry?”
A common type of phrase she would use to basically tell me I wasn’t wanted, while at the same time falsely portraying herself as just joking. She was a perfect manipulator in this way. I realize now that she must have suffered when she was young to drive her to behave this way toward someone she’s supposed to love, protect and nurture. It makes it a little easier to forgive. But the damage is done. And it lingers, festers; shaping too much of who I’ve become. The cycle finally breaks when the last in a line of childhood victims dies alone, having created no lasting love, and having had no children.

Grim

Hold me now
or like a moth I’ll fly,
But right into the black
I don’t know why.

Unable to veer from
The wide gaping maw;
An arrow here I come,
Straight into Death’s jaw

I soar not towards
But from all things away.
Yesterday, today, tomorrow;
All the same.

I am not brave.
Nor do I fear.
The known, the unknown;
No difference here.

I’ll fly
but not for the fun
I’ll fly
too close to the sun

I’ll drift
And land where I will
I’ll shift
And my soul shall spill

Not much
That’s not bitter pill.
All is such;
Ground through the mill.

So get busy;
Scurry with fury all about.
Make meaning in a tizzy,
Before Death sighs, “Lights out.”

Too soon brittle
And bitter-aged you’ll grow.
Better get on with every little,
Before He turns the lamp down low.

It’s a one-act play,
A tragedy to be sure.
While there’s light, make your hay;
Reaper’s coming with the cure.

Run if you will,
Pray for stone walls.
There’s nowhere to hide,
Grim comes for us all.

For You to Love

The being still
The waiting
The not knowing
While fire grows everywhere inside

I want you to tell me
I want you here
Will it be yes, will it be no
I can’t stand the fear

Please come to me
Let me be the one
To know you, to hold you
Only you, always you

I’m just me
And I hope that can be
More than just enough
For you to love

And I’ll be right here
Waiting, if not patiently

I’ll try to be still
I’ll sit right here until
You tell me I am yours
(Now slide out of those pants, and slip off those drawers)
And I’ll be nervous
And filled with want
But I’ll be waiting
For you right here

I’ll be waiting
For you right here

I’m just me
And I hope that can be
More than just enough
For you to love

~Fallon Ray